Sunday, March 22, 2009

A tribute to my dear friend

I should have seen it coming, in retrospect it was clear as day. You were ready to die for your beliefs. How lucid your thoughts were or what your beliefs were didn’t matter. You have given yourself enough time. You had considered/ rejected more than once unable to accept the strict pure nature of my God. Your last words to me were,
“to my evangelist friend, the real reason or final belief remains inviolate within my mind. but you are free to make what you will of what you believe of me. Thanks”. You told me, “If a mother could die for her child, a soldier for his country even more could someone live or die for his beliefs.”

What were your beliefs? Even now I’ve failed to get a clear picture. You told me to make my own conclusion. Well, dear friend, your belief was that there wasn’t much you could belief in. You couldn’t believe in a God and therefore life had no meaning. You said to me, “Unlike you I don’t have a God and so there is no meaning.” I believe many people will question your sanity, after all you are clinically depressed. This dear friend I will fiercely defend, whether you were 100% lucid or sick with depression is irrelevant. You took your life because of the tremendous insight that you had - that life is meaningless. In that sense, you are braver than most of us, willing to face up to reality. The one failing that you had was that you never accepted God in your life because you couldn’t. I wonder what if you had, I wonder is it my failing that caused your death. ( On this issue I believed I have debated with you countless times…I even remember how you said it was uncharacteristic of me to let go of logic to take that step of faith) I did joke with you not long ago that at your wake I would evangelize. Now its seems harder then it should. The idea of not seeing you ever in eternity sucks big time, I wonder how many more of those I hold dear will go down the path you have taken.

Nevertheless, dear friend, you have impacted me in ways wonderous and beautiful - let me see sides of the coin I never knew – beauty in sorrow, evil, grief (unblibical as it may sound)

In my belief - There is no joy, only eternal pain awaits you my dear friend. But in yours – I’m sure you have found rest. both of us are 100% correct.

Yours truly,
Weiyong

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